? Alan Porter (@rockhopper)

Raleigh, NC, USA

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @rockhopper ever

May 2020

I checked the weather this morning and thought “man, this weather app is messed up — it’s showing Tuesday, May 26t… https://t.co/TH67b36vbu

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Scratch-off lottery tickets should dispense with the “games” and just reveal a single word: “winner” or “loser”.

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One of these items was not supposed to go home with me… which one? pic.twitter.com/LjD7L6TEw2

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RT @HeathMayo: The dirty secret of Trumpism is that it doesn’t actually champion working-class Americans or their values—it betrays them. I…

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RT @thememorypalace: I idly clicked on a bathing-suit ad a couple of weeks ago. It is now my Javert. I will know no rest as it hunts me acr…

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RT @flyosity: He actually did it. Maybe if we all praise him and say it has a slimming effect he’ll keep wearing it, inspiring thousands of…

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RT @BruceBartlett: Your periodic reminder that Trump is probably the stupidest leader of a major country since the Middle Ages. https://t.c…

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@mtdukes @MandyWRAL It looks like NCDHHS is preparing for a phase 2 announcement. Did you notice they changed the… https://t.co/F2ViWAOWtl

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It looks like @NCDHHS are revising their #Covid_19 charts to make the numbers look less grim. Is @NC_Governor push… https://t.co/ogM1cbmCBN

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RT @AndrewYang: Americans are constantly worried about the power of government. The bigger danger is that we can’t get even basic things do…

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RT @scottlynch78: So many people running around claiming they’ll do anything for America. Carry guns, live in bunkers, fight in the hills.…

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I had to run off another pest control salesman tonight.
(1) You need a permit to sell door-to-door in Cary
(2) Ther… https://t.co/x29p9zXzBu

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RT @JoeBiden: I would trust the guy who’s one of our nation’s top public health experts, not the one who pondered injecting disinfectant in…

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RT @Mikel_Jollett: The President is tested every day.

Every single person he comes into contact with is also tested.

If anyone tests posi…

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We’ve been on the lookout for toilet paper for a while now. We finally broke down and ordered some online. Now al… https://t.co/DSQTYNuZ6s

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RT @AstroKatie: This is a side-note but not really a side-note: having a system that ties health care access to employment is ridiculous at…

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